Friday, July 10, 2009

I feel so thankful.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


I went shopping online today, and got 5 items, all of which were on sale and I found a 25% discount coupon. Score? I think this shirt's my favorite:

I used to be really self conscious of shirts that showed my back because of the surgical scar but now it's faded and not very noticeable. Most people have more class than to ask about it, and if they did I'd probably say I was shanked in a gang fight or something cooler than "I had spinal surgery." Today I hardly did anything productive. I laid in bed and ate strawberries and sorta drifted in and out of sleep. At 10 I left and went to pick up Maricel from work. We went to Jack in the Box and headed over to Theurkauf after. Very mellow.

I'm trying to find a job this summer. Maybe in retail so I can get those discounts.

Time to sleep and watch Recess.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

togetherness is all I'm after

I went to bed at 5am yesterday morning And woke up at 10am which is ridiculous, so I did some reading about time vortexes and watched Michael Jackson's memorial service, which was incredibly sad especially when his daughter spoke. After that I took a nap. I didn't start fully functioning until about 230. Danika came to my house during the evening so I could do her makeup and talk for a bit, and right after she left Erik swooped me up and we went to La Fiesta. I ate too much, my eyes are always bigger than my stomach. Me and Erik stoged at Whisman and it felt really nice just sitting there on the curb in the park piecing a cigarette together.

I'm gonna make a list and then I am off to sleep.

Things I've liked a lot lately:
-meeting new people which I have been doing a lot of
-chicken mole enchiladas
-Woodstock '69
-THEM THANGS, an art blog with lots of profanity, nudity, drug content, pop culture references, all that good stuff.
-Amy Winehouse inspired eye makeup
-Camel 99's (sorry lungs)
-pictures from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland
-The Fountainhead
-forehead kisses (lame I know shut up)
-the Bermuda Triangle
-Keri Hilson
-late night walks
-acoustic/cover version songs
-nostalgia in all its forms (old pictures, some songs, Xangas, saved AIM conversations)
-soft serve ice cream
-my handcuffs necklace

I hope this feel-good streak lasts awhile, I really dig it.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

it kinda struck a little bell in fact, I like to keep my little shell intact

I got home from Erik's house about an hour ago. We walked around the neighborhood, and watched Weeds. He let me eat the last of the paella even though he was real stingy on the shrimp. Earlier today, during the afternoon I picked him up and drove around, ended up at Egan and just sat there for about a half hour. There are some people that you can just be around, without feeling any pressure to entertain or do a song and dance type thing to keep them distracted so it doesn't go silent and get all awkward, and I think that's how we are, and I appreciate that especially right now, with all this craziness lately. I zoned out while driving home tonight. I went into autopilot and just ended up on Castro, I had to think back and make sure I didn't run any lights or anything. I love driving down Castro late at night, even though it's faster to go Central to get to my house. It's relaxing. Plus there's no lights on Central and I'm scared of the dark, even in the safety of my car.

I'm looking through old pictures. I love finding these no matter how poor quality they are/awkward I look/annoying that stupid heart shit I drew in the corner is.
We were so young and stupid, I miss being free enough to do that. I don't know how big of a fan I am of this growing up thing.

Monday, July 6, 2009

I know by saying this I run a great risk of sounding really fucking lame, but I think Jack White's voice moves me. I don't believe I have an attraction to any contemporary artist to the same extent as I do for The White Stripes.

Erik bought me a ring for my 18th birthday from Tiffany's. I was relaxing aka damaging my hair, and the chemicals turned it brownish, now it looks sort of copper and I feel like I should be upset but I kind of like it. It's fading now so it just looks a little worn. Yeah, that's all I have to say.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

But just because he doesn't do what everybody else does, that's no reason why I can't give him all my love.

4th of July

We went to Bennett's and craziness ensued. And apparently I posed with a snake at some point.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Lately every other sentence that comes out of my mouth begins with, "remember when...?" And even though everyone says they remember, I don't really think they do, at least not they way I would like them to.

I've been having really bad writer's block this week.

Friday, July 3, 2009


These past few days have been okay. Yesterday I got dinner with Caitlin, picked up Maricel from work and hung out for a bit. Today I went to lunch with Erik, then we hung out again at night. I went to his house, then I started to feel tired since I went to bed at 7am that morning, so I made him play videogames while I took a nap. After I woke up we went to Denny's and a lot of the people that were there were a little worse for wear to put it lightly. I had a panic attack on my way back to drop Erik off, and it stresses me out that these things keep happening. I don't have the energy to try to even sound eloquent or expressive, I'm just tired and anxious all the time, I try to go out as much as possible to distract myself but it doesn't seem to help lately. I'm so conflicted right now, I can't type, I can barely see straight.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I'm gonna try to write more about the things I did during the day, like events and what not.
Sooo, today I went to La Fiesta with Danielle and Aj. The service was atrocious and I'm like 90% sure the air conditioning was spraying me with cold water droplets, so the dining experience wasn't all that but the chicken mole enchiladas were no joke. I had planned on sleeping in because I didn't get much sleep Saturday night, but I got up at 10, which for normal people isn't remarkable but anything that ends in A.M. is pretty foreign to me. After lunch I came home, talked to Erik who had his first class today, and then I took a nap. Danika woke me up so we could hang out. We went to Chevy's and watched the Dutchess. I always force her to watch time pieces because I love them, and this one wasn't half bad. After Danika's I went to Alysha's and sorted out some things which felt good, and was pretty necessary. I like that everything is falling into place and getting resolved one way or another without much drama, no yelling or crying. It's refreshing. I'm glad mostly everything is settled. I realize I'm too controlling and need to let things happen naturally sometimes so this is very positive. I'm trying to make real efforts at being more lax, real zen-like yenno? Type A's are more prone to heart conditions and I don't mess with that. Um I'm thinking about getting an industrial this week because I need more holes in my body apparently. I just got my paycheck and I'm already thinking of frivilous ways to blow it..piercings, tattoos, candy runs to 7-11, who knows..